Thursday, April 19, 2007

My Professor is Stupid

As the title says, my professor is stupid. Additionally, his English is terrible. I think he uses Babelfish (online) to translate everything for his slides, as they never make sense.

One of our assignments was this:

"Let's study more on the balance-of-payment problems of the U.S.. How? Better use internet. Open the HP of the U.S. government (.....). Question. Consider what is the implication of teh content of the HP above. What will happen if unusual situation took place on a certain day? Write your solution to reduce such risk, in 200 words."

Could he be any more vague? I couldn't find anyone who knew what he wanted, so I just made things up. I've heard that the teachers give good grades to anything written with big words that sounds fancy... So this is what I turned in:

"To reduce risk of an unusual situation on certain day, we must carefully watch the balance of payments through managing our competitiveness in the market by continuously strengthening our activities. We should be omniscient of the current account, financial account, and capital account, while mitigating fiduciary risk in a ubiquitously available environment. Exportation and importation are obviously necessary, although madricrulous corpolitus (borrowed from Greek etymology) may occur when countries import more than they export, which can have implications for the corpratocracy. As you can imagine, there are multiple interrogations of such concept, and it is important to study with severity such issues. The fecundity of such institutions is present and observable by spectoral images and telepathy. "

Yes, I did make up some words. And yes, it makes absolutely no sense. But it sounds fancy.
^^ The sad part is I think I will get away with it!!!


Ellen said...

Ouch. I think your prof had a horrible English teacher and hasn't interacted with native speakers enough. I'm not sure this paragraph is just punishment for confusion about article use. I actually feel bad for him that he's come this far without realizing. It seems like incomplete acquisition is a common problem in Japan, but they don't seem to care.

A good way to retaliate might be to offer yourself up as a paid English tutor. :) Help future profs, since your old one might be too old to change his ways... they've worked for him so far.

Ellen said...

Oh yeah, and how do you get away with taking a class in English in Japan!? Maybe you should ask for clarification in Japanese :) At the end, ream him in his evaluation of course.

Doug said...

I agree with Ellen. You may find his main problem is with English. Your essay was rather funny, though. I hope he doesn't call you on it.--Dad

sporter said...

I laughed! Being a studnet with several Korean profs, I also struggle with meaning. One of mine always says "Make dialogues!" That is not the worst of his writing but the cutest! He is actually very sweet and responsive. His English is always better than my Korean--which is zero! Missing articles is quite prevalent in their writing. I wonder how the guy I have now gets his brillant writing published. He must have someone help him ready his articles (No pun intended!) for publication.